I want Terrell Owens to find a team where he can settle in, shut up, and just play his game. It’s not that I am a huge fan of his, though I respect what he can do. For me, it’s more personal than that. For much of my life I lived peacefully as a T.O. No one had ever heard my name before, and no one cared. It was blissful. Then Owens started making the news every day for his stupidity, and suddenly my name became a dirty word. Owens needs to get back way under the radar and give me my name back. There are a few teams where he could do that. Here, in descending order of my preference, are five of those teams. In other words, if I was his agent this is the list of teams I would tell him to go to.

1. Baltimore – This makes by far the most sense. The Ravens were a pretty good team last year, and they have a chance to be again this year. Joe Flacco has an incredible arm, and he had a pretty solid passing year last season despite having some small targets down field. Owens would be a dream target for Flacco. As importantly, Ray Lewis owns that locker room, and he wouldn’t let Owens get out of line. This is his chance to play for a contender and put up some good numbers.

2. Denver – Another one that makes a whole lot of sense. New coach Josh McDaniels has experience making receivers with attitudes shine after working with Randy Moss. The team has shown they can manage it too because they have had to deal with Brandon Marshall. Marshall makes Owens look like a saint. Jay Cutler has a heck of an arm, and he showed last year with Marshall and Eddie Royal than he can get two receivers the ball a whole lot. Denver plays in a division that can be exploited, and Owens would help them do that. It would also be a good gift for Cutler to show that there are no hard feelings about the whole trade thing.

3. Philadelphia – No, I’m not kidding. Donovan McNabb says he’s desperate for better talent surrounding him. Owens is definitely that. They obviously have a rough history together, but before they decided they hated each other they were magical together. Both guys are at a point in their careers where they need to just get over themselves and take advantage of the dwindling opportunities that are left in front of them. It might be too much to ask for them to do that, but if they could then the Eagles would give Owens his best shot at a title, andOwens might do the same for McNabb.

4. Minnesota – The Vikes lost out on T.J. Houshmandzadeh, but Owens would be a heck of a consolation prize. It would be a true joy to watch what Owens could do every week on the lightning fast turf in Minnesota. He’s also dangerous enough to open up running room for Adrian Peterson. The only reason Minnesota isn’t higher up on the list is that I am not confident in their quarterbacking situation. Sage Rosenfels has lots of potential, but he’s not yet proven as a full time starter. If Owens went there and Rosenfels didn’t succeed then things could get ugly. There’s no real reason at this point in his career for Owens to potentially waste time with a risky QB situation. He doesn’t have much time left.

5. Oakland – I only put the Raiders on this list because they are the most likely destination. I personally don’t think it would be a good place for him to land. I would much rather see him in a few other places – Kansas City, for one. The Raiders are a fit for one big reason – money. They will pay him more than anywhere else. That shouldn’t be enough for him, though – he has a lot of money already. They are far from a good team, and JaMarcus Russell is verging on bust territory. If Owens goes to the Bay then it will be a clear sign that his ambition is gone.