I woke up this morning to Breaking News alerts on the two major sports news sites I normally ready, and each one was a different story. One was wildly exciting, and the other was a confirmation of a gut feeling:

John Madden has retired, effective immediately. This thrills me. My late mother taught me never to say that I hate anything, but I really did hate watching games that Madden was calling. He could say the most painfully inane things as an excuse for insight, and he was becoming increasingly redundant and confusing as time passed. I also got tired listening to him talk about food all the time – especially stupidturducken . It’s not that Madden was the only wildly annoying commentator in the game – sadly, there are more than I can count. It’s that Madden was so big that he had to be the star of the games he was calling – not the players on the field. I hope they keep making his video games, but that’s about it. It’s early morning here, but this news has already made my whole day.

The other breaking story is that Kevin Garnett is not ready to go, and is quite possibly not going to be for the entire playoff run. I said on Monday that the way this story was evolving didn’t make a lot of sense to me, and it turns out that I was right to feel that. Needless to say, this is not good news for the Celtics. If Garnett had have been out for a game or two, or even the first series, then I’m not sure it would have been a big deal – Davis and Powe could have filled the gap. I’m not convinced that that’s the case, though, if he is out indefinitely. He’s too crucial to that team, and as the playoffs advance and the competition gets better, I’m not at all convinced that this team can hold up. Garnett was the best player in the playoffs last year, and his impact spread so far beyond the stats he posted. He’s the face of the Celtics, and a team can’t win without its’ face (though it is kinda funny to think about a face of guys without faces). Cleveland and Orlando should both be organizing parades to celebrate this news.